Dedicated to my Firstborn

If you’ve been following my IG for the last few weeks or so, you’ve probably gathered that I’ve been having a hard time grasping the fact that my time that I’ve had with just Avalon and me is coming to a close with the impending arrival of our next baby girl. My emotions are running high right now (hello preggo hormones) & I pretty much cry at anything that’s even slightly heartwarming….or heartbreaking for that matter. So whenever I stop and think about saying goodbye to the time I had with just Avalon, I get super emotional. She always asks, “why are you crying mommy” and I tell her it’s happy tears because I love her so much.

I wish I could go back in time and re-live the last almost 3 years of her life with her and treasure each moment that much more. I wonder if I gave her enough time, did I do enough? So many questions run through my mind and I get sad about it. I am so excited for another baby, but I’m definitely grieving the close of the chapter of Avalon as an only child. I realized this weekend that I really need to change my mindset – and focus on the fact that we are giving her an amazing gift — a sibling! I am one of 3 girls in my family and I literally don’t know what I would do without my sisters – they are my best friends and I love them so much. And now Avalon is going to get to have a sister!

I wrote a letter to her about how special our bond has been and our precious these years of her being an only child have been to me  – and so did my hubby. We put them in her baby book for her to read later on in life. Because she is going to forget that she was ever an only child, she won’t remember that she had our undivided attention for almost 3 years! She won’t remember how we were both able to focus on just her, cater to her every need and love on just her. And I just want her to be able to reflect on this time once she’s older and know the love we have for her and how much joy and happiness she brought into our lives.

So as we get closer and closer to another baby girl’s arrival, I have been reminiscing and looking at old pictures and thought I would share some milestone pics in this post. I’m so thankful I have all of these to look back at and can’t wait to make more memories with another baby too! I’m so grateful we have the opportunity to grow our family by one more and even though I’m scared and wonder if I’ll be able to love her as much as I love Avalon, every mom tells me you just do….so I’m so excited for that first moment I can hold my second precious girl in my arms and love on her.

Take a walk down memory lane with me below…

Love,

Sarah

Newborn

Photography by Teryn Hoagland (my amazing sister <3)

6 Months

Photography by Kathleen Peachey

11 Months

Breastfeeding shoot – Photography by Jamie Gehring

12 Months

Photography by Teryn Hoagland

16 Months

Photoshoot in her namesake – Avalon, California – Photography by Shana Cassidy (who was our wedding photographer in Avalon)

2 Years

Photography by Kathleen Peachey

2.5 Years

Photography by Erika Dash